Getting Dialed In On Our New 4th Green

The other day I was hitting some shots to our new #4 green, which is currently under construction. It plays 211 yards from the back tee and is slightly down hill, so I figured 4-iron ought to be about right.

On my first shot “Mr. Snappy” showed up (Mariners fans, remember the old Randy Johnson ‘Mr. Snappy’ commercials back in the mid-90’s when the M’s were relevant?). Good thing there wasn’t anyone on the white tees on #5. Then I hit a couple to the right, a couple more to the left, and as I was running out of golf balls, I finally flushed a couple.

When I got up to the green, my ‘flushed’ shots would have been in the cavernous bunker that will be protecting this ‘Redan’ style hole. As I was sitting there thinking ‘you’ve got to be kidding me,’ it reminded me of a golf joke I heard back when I was in college.

If this offends anyone, my sincerest apologies.

Jesus and Moses were out playing golf, and they came to this 211 yard par 3 over water. Jesus was playing, Moses was the caddy.

After looking at the hole, Jesus says to Moses, ‘What does Arnold Palmer use on this hole?’ Moses replied, ‘normally a 4-iron.’ So Jesus asks for the 4-iron, steps up and hits it pretty good, but it falls short of the green and goes into the water.

Jesus says to Moses, ‘go get that for me.’ So Moses parts the water, goes out and gets the ball, and heads back to the tee.

Moses says to Jesus, ‘Maybe you should take a little bit more club.’ Jesus said, ‘If Arnold Palmer hits a 4-iron here, I can hit a 4-iron here,’ as he stepped up and promptly hit it into the water again.

‘Moses, go out and get that for me,’ said Jesus. So Moses heads back out, parts the water again, and returns with Jesus’ golf ball.

‘Jesus, pleeeeze hit a little bit more club this time. 4-iron is just not enough for you here.’ Jesus stood his ground and said, ‘If Arnold Palmer can hit 4-iron here, I can hit 4-iron here.’ He takes a another swing and ended with the same result.

Getting a little fed up with this, when Jesus told Moses to go get the ball, Moses said, ‘go get it yourself. I’ve told you twice that you didn’t have enough club.’ So Jesus headed out to get his golf ball.

By this time the group behind them had caught up, and they see this guy out walking on the water. They said to Moses, ‘Who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ?’ Moses said, ‘No, he thinks he’s Arnold Palmer.’

Next time I’m trying out the new hole I think I’ll hit a little bit more club. Hope you enjoyed the story.